


Bend or Break

by ThatWouldBee_Enough



Series: Bendy Boys [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alcohol, Brief References of Past Sexual Relations Between a Minor and an Adult, Drinking, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:02:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29680911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWouldBee_Enough/pseuds/ThatWouldBee_Enough
Summary: **Please heed the tags on this. This piece is not a happy piece. If these are themes that are going to really upset you, I'd suggest you don't read this one.**Bonus Alex POV chapter for I'm Golden, But Baby I'd be Silver for YouTakes place during Chapter 5 after John leaves the bar.
Series: Bendy Boys [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181057
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13





	Bend or Break

**Author's Note:**

> **Please heed the tags on this. This piece is not a happy piece. If these are themes that are going to really upset you, I'd suggest you don't read this one.**
> 
> Bonus Alex POV chapter for I'm Golden, But Baby I'd be Silver for You
> 
> Takes place during Chapter 5 after John leaves the bar.

Alex leans into the steady weight beside him in the Uber, his eyes closed against the rushing in his head as they hit a pothole. “Why doesn’ your fuckin’ subway run later?” he slurs, his voice muffled by Robby’s sleeve. “At least ‘til after the bars close.”

Robby breathes a quiet laugh. He’s running his fingers up and down the bare skin of Alex’s arm. _Up down up down up down._ Alex focuses on the rhythm, already starting to forget what he had been saying. “It’s called the T here, hon. You’re not in New York anymore.” _Up down up down._ “But yeah, I dunno, it’s bullshit.” 

The only sound for a moment is the slightly staticky hum of the radio, some top 40s pop song pulsing through the speakers as they wind through the streets of Boston. 

He feels Robby’s hand slide down towards his waist, slip underneath his shirt, then it resumes the soothing pattern. Alex hums softly, grateful for the distraction. For the way his brain has gone fuzzy and pleasant. For the warmth of another body next to him. He doesn’t want to think about Washington’s disappointment or his fucking ankle or the fact that every time he thinks he has John figured out _he doesn’t_. 

John doesn’t _want_ to kiss him. So he _obviously_ doesn’t want to fuck him. So then what the fuck _does_ he want? 

Anyone who’s ever said they _needed_ him really only needed one of two things. Coaches who needed him to keep doing what he always did– win. And people who needed him as a warm body to get off to. Sometimes the two were one in the same. 

He kind of had thought _John_ needed both of those things from him. 

Fuck. Fuck that. He doesn’t _want_ to think about John right now. He doesn’t want to think _at all_. 

Robby’s hand breaks its pattern to brush fingers along the top of his jeans, that tingly spot where the skin meets denim. He lets out a low contented noise from deep in his throat, burying his face more securely into Robby’s shoulder. He smells like the bar– dark and musky with just a hint of smoke clinging to the scent– and it’s strangely familiar in a way. 

Robby shifts against him. He pulls his hand away from Alex’s waist to put a steadying arm out instead, helping him sit up. The spot where he had been touching feels too cold now in contrast, and Alex longs to stay curled into his side. “Come on, Alex. Time to get up,” Robby urges with a little nudge to his shoulder. “We’re here.”

Alex trips on the curb as they head towards the door to his apartment building, but the warm buzz of the alcohol in his system numbs the pain in his ankle so he barely feels it. He starts laughing, though he’s not entirely sure why. “You’re alright,” Robby tells him, slipping his hand around Alex’s waist again and helping him the rest of the way to the door. 

The inside of Robby’s apartment is small and dark and a bit messy. Cheap furniture and bare walls. It reminds Alex of some of the homes he’d lived in growing up. Even drunk, his subconscious itches to wash the dishes he sees sitting in the sink because he _knows_ those will start to smell if they just sit there. _It’s the least you can do to pitch in around here, you little brat._ He frowns to himself. He’s normally better at blocking the memories, those lingering voices, out of his head. 

He startles when he feels arms wrap around him from behind. Robby’s lips already coming to his neck. His tongue tracing a hot line up higher. Teeth nipping at the shell of his ear. 

It all feels a little off, though he’s not sure why. He leans back into his arms anyway. He’s sure that weird feeling will pass. It always does eventually. 

“Fuck, you look so _good_ , hon,” Robby groans, soft and intent by his ear. He shifts, and Alex can feel him press up against his ass, already starting to get hard. His own body is tingling with need, warmth and intoxication and it feels _good_ to have someone so close to him. Holding him. Wanting him. Even if he had other things that he wanted out of tonight, other _people,_ this isn’t the worst possible outcome. He swallows hard and tries to dispel any of the creeping nerves in his system. This is fine. This is _good_. 

He lets his head fall back against Robby’s chest. Fuck, his head feels so _heavy_. Heavy and light at the same time, and when he closes his eyes the room feels like it’s spinning, but he can’t be falling. Robby’s still holding him. Breathing hot against his skin, hips pressing into him, hands starting to wander now. One of them rucks up his shirt, runs slowly across his stomach, tracing the contours of the muscles there. _“Fuck.”_ He breathes the word into Alex’s skin, and the heat from his lips is starting to feel a little more claustrophobic than comforting. “Look at you, baby. Look at you. So fucking _pretty_.”

“Robby,” he mumbles, eyes still closed, head still resting against the bulk of his chest. He wants to say _can we stop_ or _I just want to go to bed,_ but he doesn’t quite get the words out. Just his name. 

“Yeah, hon, you like that?” He runs a hand up higher, tracing patterns over his chest with a light touch. Pinches teasingly at one of his nipples. Alex feels his cock responding in that muted way that sometimes happens when he’s drunk. Like the sensations are both better and not. Like the intensity is turned down a bit, but the warmth is turned up. He breathes out a soft whimper and presses himself back against Robby reflexively. 

He hums appreciatively in Alex’s ear. “Let’s get you into bed, hmm?” 

_Yes._ _Bed. Finally._ It’s been a long fucking day. He just wants to _sleep._

But when Robby helps him stumble into the bedroom, it’s apparently not sleeping he has in mind. 

_Oh. Okay. Yeah._ His mind starts to catch up with everything and he remembers what they had been doing. What they’re clearly _going to do_. 

When Alex hits the mattress and blinks his eyes open, Robby’s on top of him already, grinding their hips together, biting teasingly at the side of his neck. Alex doesn’t feel like he’s really there at first. His mind is lagging still. But everything comes crashing back to real time when Robby leans up to press their lips together. It’s rough. Familiar in a distant sort of way. He makes a muffled noise of surprise into the kiss that maybe sounds like encouragement. He’s not really sure. But he realizes suddenly that he hasn’t thought about the rest of his problems since Robby started touching him, so this is probably a good idea. He brings a hand up to grip his shoulder, pulling him in just a little closer, and the motion drives Robby forward, shoving his tongue past barely parted lips, hungrily claiming his mouth. It feels sloppy, and Alex tries to turn his face away a bit, but Robby just presses him more securely into the mattress, his weight pinning him down so he can barely move. Alex’s heart jumps into his chest, and the way it speeds up is discordant with the way the rest of his body feels– sluggish and uncoordinated. 

He’s relieved when Robby finally pulls away, giving Alex a chance to catch his breath. 

“You looked so fucking good tonight, baby,” he says, staring down hungrily. “Wearing this tight little shirt. Like you were looking to get fucked, huh?” 

The words settle uncomfortably in Alex’s ears but it’s not like he’s _wrong_. He sort of figured, one way or another, that he’d end the night in someone’s bed. Had put on clothes he knew looked good. It’s not like he had missed the way _John_ had looked at him back in their hotel room–

No. No, no. Don't think about John right now. John fucking _left_. Kissed him and left, just like everyone else. At least Robby wanted him still. 

Alex bites his lip and hums a pleased note when Robby runs a hand through his hair. “Seems s’like it worked,” he slurs around a grin. 

Robby lets out a low groan, grinding his hips down against Alex again. “Still a little fucking tease, just like I remember.” He runs a hand up Alex’s chest, along his shoulder and down his arm. “Well not _just_ like I remember,” he says with a sly grin. “You’ve grown up a lot since the last time. _Fuck_ you look so good, hon. Been working hard for these muscles, hmm?” He punctuates the question by leaning down and sucking a deep mark into Alex’s abs.

It’s hard to think through the sensation of teeth and tongue on him, the building tension in his groin, but through the haze he still has enough of his wits about him to feel a little… stung. He’s never been a _tease_. Just because he’s known what he wanted, flirted, that didn’t make him a _tease_. But then Robby’s tugging his shirt up, over his head, and tossing it aside. 

The cold air washes over him like a balm, and when Robby traces the bulge in the front of his jeans, Alex forgets all of his complaints. “I need– _fuck_ please Robby. I need you t’ touch me.”

“I got you, baby, I got you.” He gets Alex’s fly open, a hand running along the outline of his erection, and Alex bucks up into the touch, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed. Distracted. Distracted is good. “Fuck, look at you. So goddamn eager. Is that what you need?”

“Need _more_ ,” he pleads. 

“Fuck, yeah, I got you. Here, lift your hips for me.” Alex does. It’s not until Robby tugs both his jeans _and_ his boxers off that Alex realizes he’s still completely clothed. He feels suddenly, overwhelmingly, like this whole thing is not at all balanced. Like there are some weird invisible scales here and they’re tilting completely in Robby’s favor. His mind flashes just briefly back to that _first time_ , the last night Robby was staying at the house, when he had climbed into Alex’s bed in the room they were sharing, hands wandering without asking. Alex hadn’t told him no. He doesn’t tell him no now. 

“Oh my _god,_ you don’t know what you do to me, hon. So fucking gorgeous. Flip over for me?” When Alex hesitates, strong hands come to his hips, helping him move, rolling him over. Alex grabs the pillow and adjusts it so he’s more comfortable as those hands move to his ass, kneading at the flesh there. It actually feels nice, after a day of competition. His muscles are sore. He shifts against the bed, leaning back into the touch. Moans into the pillow. “Fuck, yeah, let me hear those pretty noises. You have such a nice ass, baby. Fucking beautiful.”

The words are just background noise now as he melts into the mattress, relaxing. He could probably fall asleep like this. He kind of wants to. “Robby,” he mumbles into the pillow. “I want…”

_To stop. He wants to stop. He’s done. He just wants to go to sleep and forget about this fucking day._

Robby’s hand is rubbing at his ass now– soothing, just like before. _Up down up down._ A little bit of a squeeze. _Up down up down._ “I know what you need, baby. I know. Just–” Alex can hear the rustle of the bedding as Robby moves. He’s not really sure what he’s doing, and he doesn’t really care.. He’s got his eyes closed, warm and relaxed as he feels sleep start to tug at the corners of his mind. He kind of hopes Robby’s going to grab another blanket or something. He’s still kind of chilly where he’s laying on top of the bedding, but he can’t force himself to climb underneath with the way his body is starting to feel like lead. 

When Robby climbs back onto the bed, there’s no additional blanket. Just a slick finger prodding between his cheeks, his other other hand stretching Alex’s ass to get better access. 

Alex tenses at the sudden touch.

“Shhh, relax, hon, relax. I got you.” He rubs small circles there for a moment, trying to ease Alex into it, but when he starts to press inside it’s still too soon. Alex lets out a quiet whimper, trying to muffle it into the pillow. “See? There you go. Just relax.”

He does, eventually. Even when everything else has been hectic in his life, sex has always been methodical, uncomplicated. Once he starts to get into the sensation, once he’s stretched enough to enjoy it, he starts rocking his hips back into the touch, soft moans slipping past his lips in time to the press of his fingers. 

“ _God_ , baby,” he hears Robby moan from behind him. “That’s it. Fuck, you like that don’t you?”

Alex nods with a little hitched breath. He _does_. It feels good now that he’s getting into it, and he turns his head to glance over his shoulder, throw Robby a desperate, pleading look. 

“I know you do. Wanna give you what you _really_ need, hon. Wanna fuck you so good you forget your name.”

Even though he’s enjoying the slow press of Robby’s fingers inside of him, stretching and scissoring and working him open, the thought of so much more is suddenly overwhelming. He feels his chest clench uncomfortably. _Fuck._ He gets his hands under himself, pushing up a little bit, considering whether he should say something. Whether he should get up from the bed and put his clothes back on. Go back to the hotel.

But Robby presses one firm hand down between his shoulder blades and presses him back to the mattress. Before Alex really has a chance to process– his brain still lagging behind a bit– Robby has both of his wrists pinned in one strong hand above his head. 

Alex’s heart jumps in his chest, and the pattern of its beat feels erratic. 

“Relax, baby. I got you, just relax.” 

He takes a deep breath, trying to force himself to calm down. He’s done this before. Plenty of times before. It’ll be _good_ if he just relaxes. It’ll help with all of his overthinking. Settle the guilt from fucking up earlier today. Take away some of the edge from John suddenly _leaving_ . He had _wanted_ a physical release tonight after everything else that happened. He still wants it. 

“Here, spread your legs for me,” Robby tells him, using his free hand to shove Alex’s thighs apart further. He swallows down his nerves and complies, shifting on his stomach and tilting his hips up a little so he can really spread himself out, the tense pull of it in his hamstrings sending a pulse of blood to his cock. “Fuck, so flexible, hon.” The praise twists in his gut. Robby’s free hand comes back down to his ass, caressing for just another moment before Alex feels the slick press of a hard cock against him. 

“Robby,” he manages to get out, turning his head to the side. He can’t turn enough to really see him with the way he’s pinned down. “Condom?”

“I don’t have any, baby. Ran out.” Alex’s lips pull tight in a frown. “It’s fine, I got tested recently. I’m all clean, okay? It’s fine.”

He really doesn’t want to argue at this point, so he turns his face back into the pillow and mumbles out a muffled, “Okay.” 

When Robby pushes inside with a groan, it’s too sudden, the stretch bordering on painful, and Alex keens into the pillow, his fingers digging into the sheets where his hands are still pinned down. Robby’s grip on his wrists tightens just a fraction. “ _Fuck_ , Alex. So tight, baby. Feel so fucking good.” His hips roll forward, pressing that hard length inside another inch. “You always feel so fucking good.” He grips a bruising hand at Alex’s waist, tugging him closer. “Was so glad when you texted me earlier. Couldn’t wait to see you. To touch you like this again.” 

The words wash over him in waves, soft and damaging in equal measure, and he lets himself drown in it as Robby forces the rest of the way inside and begins to really move. It’s not _good_ exactly, but it’s fine. Necessary. Because he doesn’t have to think when they do this. He can just drift. Focus on the ache in his wrists and his ass and his cock where it's pressed between his stomach and the sheets, friction just this side of uncomfortable. 

It goes on for what feels like ages. 

Alex settles into the rhythm, and it becomes soothing in a way, repetitive and mindless, just like the touches from Robby earlier. His whole body rocks into the mattress with every thrust. _Up down up down up down._ He startles when Robby pulls out before he’s done. Wonders vaguely if he’s planning on finishing outside instead. On his skin. It’s a decent compromise considering the lack of a condom, and Alex feels himself let out a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding.

“Fuck, I’m close,” Robby grunts, one hand still pressing into Alex’s waist, the other finally releasing his wrists. Alex leaves them where they are, just lays still, waiting for the rush of hot semen on his back. 

Instead, both of Robby’s hands come down to his hips, flipping him over with frantic eagerness. “Wanna see your face, baby. Wanna touch you.” He reaches a hand down and grips Alex’s cock, giving him a few rough strokes. Alex arches into his touch on instinct. “Look at you, so hard for me. You’re doing so well, sweetheart. So tight. So good for me.” After being fucked for so long, the attention where he really needs it feels fucking fantastic. 

_“Fuck, please.”_ Alex doesn’t like begging, but it's impossible not to at this point. He wants release. He also just kind of wants this to be over. Wants to sleep. Fuck, he just wants to be unconscious for a while. If Alex was worried any of that would come across on his face, the concern is dispelled when Robby groans, leaning down low to bite and suck at his lips, shoving his tongue back in deep. 

“Yeah, baby, that’s it,” he says, pulling away just an inch. Alex keeps his eyes closed. It’s easier this way. “Gonna make you come on my cock. How’s that sound, hmm?” 

Fuck. Alex wants to bring up the whole condom issue again, but that would probably just prolong this whole thing, and he’d rather just get it over with it. He squeezes his eyes shut tighter and nods, breathing a hitched noise of assent. 

“Here, get your legs up.” Alex’s brow scrunches in confusion, but he does. Let’s Robby grab his legs and hoist them up onto his shoulders. _Fuck_ , his ankle hurts. He’s not sure if the alcohol is wearing off or if Robby’s manhandling of him is just _that_ painful. Either way, he doesn’t say anything. His legs are shoved forward as Robby sinks down over him, folding him practically in half. Then Alex feels his touch again, down by his ass, Robby lining up with his hole and sinking in all at once. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Alex cries, and it’s a wild noise. Both pain and pleasure because it’s fucking _deep_. But when Robby shifts the angle a bit, he’s nailing Alex’s prostate, and the sparks are electric, brighter than all the other sensations, and suddenly he doesn’t want it to stop anymore. 

“Yeah,” Robby sighs somewhere near his neck, their bodies pressed into each other now. “That’s right, baby. _God_ you feel so good.” He wedges a hand between them and grips Alex’s cock again, starting to stroke in time with his own thrusts. “Fucking gorgeous just like this. Come for me, Alex. Wanna feel you come on my cock.” 

Alex keeps his eyes shut tight, and when he _does_ come a couple minutes later, with a direct hit to that sensitive spot inside of him and a well timed stroke, it’s not Robby who he’s thinking of. He feels Robby’s thrusts stutter and still deep inside of him as he clenches down, and when he finally pulls out, Alex can feel the hot trickle of his come dripping down onto the bedding. 

Robby rolls over to the other side of the bed and then tugs Alex in closer, curling in along his back. 

Alex is starting to feel claustrophobic again. 

“So fucking good, hon,” he mumbles by Alex’s ear, sounding sated and sleepy. “Thank you.” 

“Mmm yeah.” His head is rushing. He feels dizzy, tired. A little disgusting. 

After a couple of minutes, he wiggles out of Robby’s grip. “I’ve gotta shower,” he says, glancing down at the mess on his own stomach, knowing that his backside must be just as gross. “You got a spare towel?”

Robby rolls onto his back staring up at Alex through half-lidded eyes as he gets to his feet, wincing at the weight on his ankle. “Bathroom closet, top shelf. You want me to join you?”

 _God no._ “Nah, I’m good. Just wanna rinse off before bed.”

“Okay. Just shout if you need anything.”

When he gets out of the shower, he sees that Robby set out a pair of sweatpants and a soft t-shirt on the counter. He tugs them on, already feeling the exhaustion of the day setting into his body, dragging him down. He ducks his head back into the bedroom. Robby’s sitting up against the pillows, scrolling through his phone. “Hey, I’m just gonna take the couch, okay?”

“Alex, you don’t have to–”

“It’s fine, Robby,” he says bluntly. “I’m just more comfortable out there, alright?”

“Alright. Here, take a pillow at least. There's a blanket on the couch already.”

After a while, when he can Robby’s snoring from the other room, he finally drifts off himself. 

Robby’s still asleep when he slips out in the morning. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh 😭😭😭 I'm sorry
> 
> Leave comments below. Yell at me. Get your feelings out. 
> 
> For context, Alex is 18 here. Robby is 22.


End file.
